16th November 2022
There is a scene in the film Wall Street which almost gets you nodding-along with, if not cheering on, Gordon Gekko.
The scene is very carefully done.
It is a company’s annual stockholders’ meeting, and Gekko is about to speak from the floor.
You will know what he says.
But what you see is a stage full of non-plussed people in suits:
“Teldar Paper has thirty-three different vice presidents each earning over 200 thousand dollars a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analysing what all these guys do, and I still can’t figure it out.
“One thing I do know is that our paper company lost 110 million dollars last year, and I’ll bet that half of that was spent in all the paperwork going back and forth between all these vice presidents.”
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The point is – or seems – inarguable.
And having got his audience – and us – onside Gekko then subverts us with his “greed is good” exhortation.
(Though even then he has to slip in “for lack of any better word” to make the sentiment expressed palatable.)
And if you find yourself thinking “but actually…”, just think of those thirty-three vice presidents all on that stage.
You cannot help but think he may have a point – doesn’t he?
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Of course: that scene is a combination of clever writing and clever visual rhetoric.
And it is easy to depict things as, in effect, bloated – and to get claps and cheers.
But sometimes what appears bloated has a less obvious purpose.
Take, for example, the new owner of Twitter.
This is a tweet from him:
Part of today will be turning off the “microservices” bloatware. Less than 20% are actually needed for Twitter to work!
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 14, 2022
And this is what then happened:
This afternoon: Elon Musk tweets that Twitter will be turning off “bloatware”.
Now: no one with two-factor authentication based on their phone can log in because one of the microservices turned off was the one that texts you your 2FA code.
Oh dear. pic.twitter.com/oF9cDVJK2D
— Conor Sewell (@CCSewell) November 14, 2022
Whoopsie.
Many who logged out of Twitter could not log back in, and so if you wanted to retain access you could not log out.
Or as Rorschach once put it:
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The word “bloat” in this context is pejorative – a term used instead of thinking.
Just seeing a lot of something you don’t understand and do not like, and characterising (indeed, caricaturing) that something as “bloatware” is not enough.
There may be all sorts of hidden and semi-hidden things which are important, if not critical.
That is why a slow, methodical case-by-case approach is needed.
Else you can inadvertently turn-off something that matters, like Musk’s new Twitter did with phone-based authentication.
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And now we come to our old friend, the Retained EU Law (Revocation and Reform) Bill.
The premise of this Bill is that the mass of European Union law that still has effect in the United Kingdom is bloatware.
One can imagine a certain kind of government minister gleefully tweeting:
“Part of today will be turning off the EU retained law bloatware. Less than 20% is actually needed for the United Kingdom to work!”
Or another minister posing in front of thirty-three shelves of regulations, instead of thirty-three corporate vice presidents.
Some would be tempted to nod – perhaps even you.
But.
As this blog has averred before, a lot of retained European Union law is important and beneficial, and we negotiated and implemented it ourselves.
A great deal serves a function – even if it will take time and effort to ascertain what that function is.
Perhaps some of it is statutory bloatware and can be safely discarded.
Yet the moral of Musk and authentication is that gusto is not enough.
Caution – for lack of a better word – is good.
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