Today the privileges committee of the House of Commons published the latest submission of Boris Johnson.
Nobody takes this submission seriously, at least not for its supposed primary purpose – that of being the solemn defence of Johnson against the charge of culpably misleading the House of Commons (and/or not correcting the record in a timely manner).
Nobody, including Johnson himself and the clever wordsmiths who crafted the arguments in the document.
The document, however, may have a number of secondary purposes.
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First, there is the political and personal strategic purpose of Johnson at the end of the process being able to claim that he has been “cleared” and “exonerated” regardless of whether he is actually cleared or exonerated.
Here Johnson may have already written off the committee report, and he realises some culpability will be found.
And so what Johnson is looking at is how this document can frame what is happening for what then follows, especially any vote of the House of Commons on sanction.
If he can, for example, say that the committee accepted he acted “in good faith” but that he should have corrected the record sooner then he can say he has been “cleared” and “exonerated” even though the committee finds him in breach because of his correction.
As such he is working backwards from the tale he wants to tell after the committee reports.
(If the submission works so that he is not found in breach, then all the better – but he knows the evidence against him is compelling.)
If he makes it as difficult as possible for the privileges committee to land a clean blow against Johnson on “good faith” at the time the House was misled, then he may escape any significant sanction.
Johnson then “wins”.
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Second, there is the tactical purpose of framing the ongoing narrative of this story on terms favourable to Johnson.
He is sending signals to his media and political supporters, some of whom are happily repeating his talking points and believe Johnson to be some sort of a victim.
This spin maximises his political space for manoeuvre: he retains political support and (somehow) the benefit of the doubt of some who should know better.
This submission helps Johnson in defining the charges against him on his own terms, rather than on the committee’s terms: Is the committee being unfair? Did he act in good faith? Hasn’t he apologised for what was on his watch? And so on.
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Third, a long submission like this may have the purpose of justifying the considerable amount of public money spent on Johnson’s defence.
If Johnson had one strong basis for defence, a few pages would be enough, perhaps even one page, perhaps even one paragraph.
But as a general rule: the longer the litigation letter, the weaker the case.
This is 52 pages.
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And fourth (and here I am being playfully ironic), this document is a wonderful example of public art.
The amount of public money spent on this document could have been wasted on some drab statue or earnest mural, but here we have instead a thing of beauty.
Almost every sentence of this submission – almost every sub-clause – is a delight to be cherished, demonstrating real craft.
Take for example:
“the Committee did not identify a single document which suggested that I was informed or warned by anyone that any event at No. 10 was contrary to the Rules or Guidance”
Just take a moment to think about that, just as you would take a moment to ponder a clever detail in a painting or a poem.
And then you have the happy realisation that this could be said by almost any person facing any sanction at any time.
I did not wrong, the accused person could say, because I was not informed or warned that what I was doing was wrong.
Of course, Johnson like the rest of us during the pandemic were expected to know the rules and guidance for themselves – and. if not, we could always listen to the then prime minister Boris Johnson at one of his press conferences telling us about the rules and guidance.
There are many, many more such sentences.
This masterwork of a submission, full of artificial beauty, should not just be a submission to some parliamentary committee.
It should also be submitted to the Turner Prize.
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Will this submission serve the interests of the greased piglet?
Will it help him in anyway?
Will he be, with one leap, be free from serious sanction – again?
This submission shows how such an escape can happen – as long as you do not take it seriously as an actual defence.
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